Lindsay’s Story

In 2005, my mother was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. She lived well and fully with that diagnosis until late 2010 when I learned in a phone call with my parents that things had changed, and treatments were no longer working.

In late October of that year, I began making the 6-hour round trip to my parent’s home each week: 3 hours up on Friday evenings after work, and 3 hours back down on Sunday night. My parents were both 69 at the time, and as my mother grew more and more ill, it was taking a toll on my father to be the primary caregiver.

It became clear sometime in early December that things were going to get worse, not better, and leaving Sunday night grew more and more difficult and distressing. My mom had made it clear she wanted to die at home, and we began making plans for hospice workers to come in. The hospice workers were wonderful. To this day, I thank them for guiding us through the most difficult time of our lives. They told us that my mom was dying, and they explained as best they could, what that experience would be like and what we should do to prepare. We would be the ones to manage my mother’s symptoms, primarily intense bone pain. There were important end-of-life decisions to be made, and it was clear that I needed to be both physically and emotionally present from now on.

At the time, I worked for a small employment service agency with a full and part time staff of about 10 people. I was a full-time employee and eligible for paid leave through my employer’s policy. I am so grateful that when the time came, I had peace of mind knowing that I could do what was required of me as a family member and daughter, while still being able to pay my bills and have a job to come back to.

My coworkers and boss were amazing and supportive throughout those weeks in December. I felt economically and professionally protected during a time of extreme stress and emotional challenge in all other aspects of my life. That experience has stuck with me, and I’m sharing my story because I want all of us to have this support and protection. My mother died peacefully at home on Saturday, December 18″‘ 2010. My dad and I were both there. It seemed like months had passed since I’d been there by her side, when in the end, it had been little more than a couple of weeks.

I went back to work as planned and continued to work for that same employer as a full-time employee for over four years, moving on to a senior supervisory position. When I did move on to another role with another employer, I continued as a volunteer board member for the agency until just last year.

In the end, the time I needed amounted to less than 3 weeks. Looking back, I am deeply appreciative of the paid leave I had access to. It allowed me to meet my family and personal obligations while maintaining the financial security of a career I had worked so hard to build.

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