Kalisto’s Story

I'm Kalisto, my pronouns are he/ze/they, I am from Aroostook County in northern Maine. I have an infant and I'm a freelance contractor, which has made paid leave look different for me.

About a year and a half ago I moved to Maine from Washington State, a state that does have 12 weeks of paid leave. When I moved to Maine as a contractor, I wasn't aware that there wasn't universal paid leave. When I learned that there were options to share stories to help pass paid leave in Maine, I thought yes, I'll share mine.

I went on leave as a contractor. It was never a question that I was going to go on leave. It was only a question of how to make ends meet. Since I worked for a Washington based company, I assumed that they had to cover the 12 weeks of leave, but being a contractor there was no paid leave in place.

I tried to find a way to get an advance at work, but this wasn’t an option so then I reached out to a mutual aid source.  I had to reach out to my family to help cover a little bit, and then looked at the funds I had put into savings from my previous term in graduate school. In the end I sought out two mutual aid projects, used the money that I got back from graduate school, and family assistance. It covered some of  the lost income for the 2 to 3 months off of work. I had my child in April, and I came back on May 11th, but I was on and off flexing paternity leave from about 3 weeks before my child was due. So I took off in March, and then came back in May, a little over 2 and a half months. 

I'm privileged that my partner and I work at home. If we were ever in that position where one or both of us worked outside of the home, and needed childcare, then we wouldn’t be able to survive without leave.

My experience was different, because my birth was relatively easy, so I didn't feel guilty going back to work two weeks after. However, I shouldn't have had to worry about getting back to work. 

There is that aspect of American culture of the 9 to 5, 40 hour a week mentality that you’re expected to still work even if someone dies in your family, if you have a birth in your family, or if you are ill.  I feel that parents need to have time off to have that bond.  

I believe that paid leave should be multifaceted and should be inclusive. I'm an adoptee, and believe paid leave should not be just for birthing and gestating parents. I am a trans man, and that aspect of legally being male on all things means paid leave cannot be only labeled maternity leave. My partner took 6 weeks off, which is also necessary leave.  There's also the aspect of grandparents who have to care for children, and foster parents should be allowed this. It should extend beyond caring for children.  My mom was the caregiver for her mother, who passed away.  There is that need to be able to take time off, to take care of somebody in their end of life or care for somebody who's living with a chronic illness. 

People in these situations shouldn’t have to worry if they have a zoom call at 2 pm or need to go into the office, all while having back labor, or wondering if their mom's going to die in the next 8 hours.

My dream for Maine Paid Family and Medical Leave would look a little bit more like what Europe and Canada look like, but I don't know if we'll ever get to that point, even in the US. I think 12 weeks is something but I don't think it's enough.

As we work to have paid leave in Maine, why not shoot for the moon and land among the stars? 

Have a story to tell? Visit our paid leave story form and join the conversation!